Continuing on with what I guess is going to be our theme for October, I would like to talk some more about Leonardo DiCaprio. Specifically, I would like to tell you about Wet Leo.
“Wet Leo” refers to the theory that Leonardo DiCaprio is extra attractive when wet and, as a result, has spent a not-insignificant portion of his career swimming in pools, submerged in the ocean, taking showers or baths, standing in the rain, crying in the rain, et cetera. Most Leonardo DiCaprio movies have at least one Wet Leo moment. Sometimes, if they can’t figure out how to work swimming and/or rain-crying into the plot, someone will throw some water at him instead. In Romeo + Juliet, Leo straight up just shoves his face into a sink. Incidentally, that was the movie my friends and I were watching in eighth-grade English class when we first noticed this trend. (On a side note, what did English teachers do to place William S. in a modern context before 1996? I’ve watched Romeo + Juliet after every single Shakespeare unit ever, except in tenth grade, when our teacher made us read Othello and watch the stunningly ill-advised 2001 adaptation/Josh Hartnett vehicle O instead.) (On another side note, I get that Romeo + Juliet is supposed to help students overcome the language barrier by having flamboyant late-nineties Venice Beach teenagers recite their lines while brandishing guns at each other, but I went to an all-girls middle school, and even at the time I questioned the effectiveness of letting a classroom of hormonal preteen girls watch a movie starring Titanic-era Leonardo DiCaprio.) (I don’t think any of us were watching it for the dialogue, you know what I mean?) (I mean that we were watching it for his face.)
Anyway, Wet Leo was true back in 2001, and I’ve been gratified to find that the theory has continued to hold up surprisingly well (considering it was originally codified by a bunch of twelve-year-olds during lunch break), therefore providing me with an opportunity to offer the following evidence to you, dear reader, in the form of screenshots:
What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993): Johnny Depp gives Leo a bath.
The Basketball Diaries (1995): I haven’t seen this movie, but I know from existing in the world that it is about drugs and, presumably, basketball, and also there is at least one scene where Leo cries/plays basketball in the rain.
Total Eclipse (1995): I haven’t seen this movie either, but I did find a screencap of Leo writing some poetry, again in the rain.
Romeo + Juliet (1996): As previously mentioned, Leo has a bad trip and shoves his face in a sink filled with water before meeting/making out with Claire Danes.
Then they make out some more in a swimming pool.
I think maybe he also gets into at least one gunfight in the rain, but it’s been a while since I watched this movie.
Titanic (1997): Obviously.
The Beach (2000): This movie takes place on a beach, so.
Blood Diamond (2006): I guess Leo falls into some sort of mud pit in this one.
Revolutionary Road (2008): Leo cries in the shower and then hangs out in his bathrobe talking to Kate Winslet for a while.
He also goes back to the beach!
Inception (2010): The very first scene is a Wet Leo! He washes ashore on yet another beach.
A little while later, they dump him in a bathtub filled with water.
It basically goes on from there. Leo is wet a lot in this movie.
Shutter Island (2010): There is a lot of metaphoric imagery with rain and the ocean all throughout this movie because (spoiler alert) Leo finds his drowned children in a lake at the end.
So he is wet a lot in this one too.
The Great Gatsby (2013): Leo pouts in the rain 😡 😡 😡
He also goes swimming and (spoiler alert) gets shot.
Which brings us right up to the present! Excellent work, Leo, really well done. I look forward to seeing you interact with many more bodies of water in the future. Why hasn’t anyone given you an Oscar yet?
I will give you an Oscar:
You deserve it.
(Final side note, most of these pictures came from either the Leonardo DiCaprio Network Photo Gallery or the Leonardo DiCaprio Fanpop Club, two exhaustively curated fansites between which you can find screencaps of literally every second of every film Leonardo DiCaprio has ever appeared in.)